Tuesday, October 7, 2008

What is normal?

Last night I had one of those long, heart-to-heart conversations with my husband. You know the kind. They usually start with something completely random and not important, and before you know it, you're getting at some really tough issues you didn't even know were there, but were obviously so on the surface you wondered how you couldn't possibly have been staring it in the face for the past 10 years?

Whew. That was one run-on sentence.

But it ended with a realization. And it was a weird one for me. Here it is: I am having a hard time living the "normal life". Ok. I said it. For any of you who know me, really know me, will think I've gone stark, raving mad. All I craved while in Korea and New York was normal.

So I have to ask myself: What is normal, and how to I get out of it? And why did I crave it so badly and now that I have it, I want out so badly? Is this making any sense? I feel like I'm rambling.

I also realize that some people would consider living in the mountains, in Vail, Colorado not exactly a normal thing. News: Vail is anything but normal, and if anyone living here thinks that, they're fooling themselves. This is not how the rest of the country, or the world for that matter, lives. But, that's ok. It's beautiful, and the people are great. It's actually a pretty cool place to live. That said....

On a big scale, it is normal, at least my life is. My husband leaves in the morning and comes home in the evening. I take my daughter to school. Owen has preschool (sort of). We do soccer. There's homework, cleaning and breakfast, lunch, and dinner to prepare. There's laundry, diapers and grocery shopping.

And this is all. Just. So. Normal.

There's no culture-shock to overcome. No language barriers. No completely not understanding a country or it's medical system. There's no difficulties like public transportation to navigate. There's no going to three different stores for what I could get in one trip to Wal-mart.

There's also no friendships that are so amazingly close because you're all each other has got and if you don't connect every single day in some way shape or form you'll all go completely crazy and do something stupid like buy 3 knock-off purses that you don't even really like from the street vendor. (I wouldn't know anything about that last little bit there.) There's no sense of urgency because you're in a hard place physically. There's no bonding over little things like tea sent from home and Skip-bo (Lis, do you hear me?). There just isn't any of those things.

If you've made it this far, you have my sincere thanks. You really are a friend. That or you're bored and have nothing else to do. I'm going to hope it's the former.


Michelle said...

WOW Beth...I feel for you. :-(
I can tell this is really a heart-wrenching adjustment for you.

I pray that God brings you peace, happiness and contentment with your new home.

(And I'm going to email you!) ;-)


Emily said...

well, your 2nd to last paragraph was a key one. Friendships. Sounds like that would make life much easier on you...because then you'd have someone to laugh at the 'not so normal' Vail.

and to tell you the total truth...I've moved so much in the last few (10) years that I was a tad freaked at settling down into my new home. a little bit. Because change brings total growth in me...I had to FORCE myself to meet new people, be friendly, try new churches, navigate new towns.

Some people would have a heart attack doing the things I've done, and it sounds like you're the same way...a bit self reliant maybe? A bit of a fly by the seat kindof girl?

I feel ya.

Go force yourself to meet a new friend. that's my prescription.

carrie said...

on a slightly different angle: it seems like I'll never get back to what I think normal is. It's been one thing after another around here, but I don't think there is a normal.

I totally get what you're saying, but this is a season God has put you in and enjoy it while it lasts!

The Breedloves said...

Beth-I miss you and I miss New York. I was looking through pictures yesterday to put in a flip book for our son and it was hard for me...know I love you and it will only get easier. I can't imagine having Korea in my background too. I love you